Bring Me to Life
by Alia Lowe
Summary: Heero and Duo reflect on their relationship over the years after they get into a fight over those three words. Hopefully as unforgettable a read as it has been to write. Based on the lyrics 'Bring Me To Life' by Evanescense. Please click and read.


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. The boys are owned by the corporations of Bandai, Sunrise, Ocean Studios, Sotsu Agency, and ANB. "Bring me to Life" belongs to Evanescence. I do highly recommend the song though. It's given me a lot of powerful images for this fic and if you listen to it, you should be able to follow along with the plot.  
  
' Thoughts '  
" Speech "  
// Lyrics //  
** Flash back**  
* * * * * * Change Scene  
Bring Me To Life  
By Alia Lowe  
  
It was about four months after the Eve War. The Gundam pilots were now getting some well deserved R and R while adjusting to the change. The majority of the pilots had never know of a life other than war.   
  
Quatre was happy enough. The blond boy took over Winner Enterprises shortly after the war ended with the assistance of his 29 sisters. Wufei was falling back on his skills as a scholar again, reading books at every opportunity he could. However, he could still be seen sharpening his katana once in a great while. Whether to remember his skills as a warrior or to honor the life of his beloved Merian, the other pilots could never be sure, and never asked.  
  
Things were harder for the other pilots. Trowa had no other memory then that of being a mercenary and a soldier. It was hard to adjust to a life without war. He was slowly adapting though. With the help of his boyfriend Quatre, Trowa was slowly becoming a human being with emotions rather then a nameless soldier.  
  
Duo was not much better. His whole life he had been a war orphan living on the filthy streets of L2. With Deathsythe, he felt he could accomplish anything and rise above the death that seemed to curse his life by taking away all the ones he ever loved.  
  
Heero, he was the strangest case of all. During the war, he was so cold and emotionless to the point of being suicidal. But after the Eve war something miraculous began to happen. He began to become a living breathing human with true emotions. None of the other pilots knew how it happened. The last account before his transformation was from Wufei. All they knew was that Heero was ranting about a girl and her dog that he had killed many years ago.  
  
Then, after the war Duo went to find Heero... and Heero came back a human being. Trowa, Quatre and Wufei were never sure what had happened, but they were happy for the new couple. Duo and Heero seemed to feed on each other for the strength they never had in their childhood. Things were still very tentative between the two. Both were very unsure of their relationship and opening their hearts to one another. There were so many new and unfamiliar emotions that neither of the pilots had faced before and had definitely been excluded from their training.  
  
The boys were staying at one of Quatre's suites by the ocean. Trowa, Duo and Wufei were in town on a 'mission' to gather supplies. In other words, they were 'adjusting' to civilian life by visiting the local supermarket to go grocery shopping. Thank Kami it wasn't 'Coupon Day'.  
  
Quatre was sitting in the living room alone watching television when Heero walked in.  
  
"Hey Quatre, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
"Sure Heero," Quatre said as he turned off the television. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"Well, I've been having these...feelings about Duo."  
  
"Like what kind of feelings? Can you describe them for me?"  
  
"It's just whenever I'm around him I feel so, alive. I have so many emotions, I'm just so confused. I mean, I lust after him, but...there's something more. What does it mean?"  
  
Quatre just smiled. "It means you love him."  
  
"Love?" Heero looked at Quatre questionably. "What...how do I...love?"  
  
"Love is when you care deeply for someone and would be willing to sacrifice everything for them," Quatre said.  
  
"Like you and Trowa?" Quatre blushed. "Yes, like me and Trowa."  
  
"What should, what can I do Quatre?" Heero looked at Quatre with the most innocent expression Quatre had ever seen. Quatre was taken aback by the pure emotion that shone from the Prussian blues and the soft face that radiated of uncertainty and fear.  
  
"Tell him"  
  
"Nani! I can't just tell him! What if he...rejects me? What if he is disgusted with me for showing such weakness?"  
  
"Heero, he would never do that. Love is not a weakness. It's what makes us human. As for rejection, surely he loves you as well, but there is only one way to find out."  
  
Heero thought this over for a moment. "I guess you are right," he flashed Quatre a brief smile. "Arigato," and left the room to prepare for later.  
  
"You're welcome," Quatre whispered to the empty space. He smiled and with a fresh conscience turned the television back on while he tried to think of a way he could tell his koi about the encounter when they were alone.  
  
* * * * * *  
later that night  
* * * * * *  
  
"Man I'm bushed," Duo said as he let himself collapse onto the bed in the bedroom he shared with Heero, just staring up at the ceiling. That's when he smelled the jasmine. He sat up on his elbows and noticed several lit candles strategically lit around the room. At that moment, Heero decided to leave the bathroom that was attached to their room.  
  
Heero was wearing a pair of tight, form fitting leather pants and a button-down cobalt shirt that was open, revealing a smooth chest. Duo was starting to drool. Heero locked eyes with Duo and slowly walked over, seductively swaying his hips in stride. He crawled onto the bed and straddled Duo, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Hello koi."  
  
"Hello yourself," Duo answered, pulling Heero down for a deeper kiss.  
  
"How was the 'mission'?"  
  
"Nimnu kanryou," Duo said with a smirk. "I was fighting tooth and nail with this old lady, but I managed to retrieve the most valuable item of the mission."  
  
"Oh, and what was that?" Heero asked.  
  
Duo smirked. "A box of sugar cubes."  
  
Heero just snorted and rolled his eyes, used to the antics that his braided lover was accustomed to. Duo held Heero closer to him to that his bare chest was pressed flush against his own clothed one.   
  
"If this is how you're going to greet me after every mission I'll have to go them more often." Heero just moaned quietly as Duo began to caress his back. Fingers ghosted underneath Heero's open shirt and teased the tense muscles.  
  
"Duo...stop, wait a minute," Heero whimpered. But Duo had no intention of stopping. "Wait, I have to tell you something, aaaahhh," Heero moaned as Duo grinded into Heero's hips. Heero wasn't sure how much pleasure he could stand before he would become incoherent, so he just spit it out.  
  
"I love you"  
  
That got Duo to stop. "What did you say?" Duo said, doubting his acute hearing.  
  
"I love you Duo" he repeated, staring into Duo's cobalt eyes. Duo kept staring at Heero in disbelief and shock. His vision began to blur as he began to space out into old memories.  
  
"Heero, I..."  
  
"What Duo!" Heero shouted. "Are you trying to tell me you don't feel the same way?"  
  
"Heero, I...can't..."  
  
"Can't what Duo?! Why can't you say it?!"  
  
"Heero, what about...the mission?"  
  
"Damn it Duo, the war's been over for two months now. You know that as well as I do. There's something else isn't there. You don't love me. I'm just your little fuck buddy. A wham bam thank you ma'am stress reliever during the war and now you don't have an excuse!" Heero shouted while tears began to run down his cheeks.  
  
"Well I'm out of here! Goodbye Duo Maxwell!" Heero shouted, choking back the sobs that were catching in his throat as he fled the room, not even bothering to slam the door.  
  
"Heero," Duo whimpered to the empty room. "I wish you could understand..."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
// How can you see into my eyes,  
like open doors  
Leading you down into my core,  
where I become some no //  
  
Heero ran out of the front door of the safe house into a relatively cool night. Most of the sky was clouded and rain was softly falling on the boardwalk by the ocean.   
  
Heero could think of nothing else but running. Running away from the creature named Duo Maxwell that had somehow wormed his way into Heero's heart. Heero found a dark shadow on the boardwalk closest to the ocean and gripped the steel railing. He slowly let himself slip down until he was sitting on the ground and slowly began to cry.  
  
'I am such an idiot. How did he manage to get this close to me? How did he manage to get this much power over me? To look into my eyes, free my emotions and read me so well?'  
  
// Look through the soul,  
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,  
Until you find it there and lead it back  
Home //  
  
* * Begin flashback * *  
  
Heero fiddled with the controls of the missiles that would destroy his Gundam and erase all evidence of his failed mission to Earth.  
  
"Those are missiles, aren't they Heero? I can tell." Relena said.  
  
'No kidding you ditz,' he thought. 'Just concentrate on the mission. I will not let those Oz scumbags get MY gundam. Then, maybe I'll finally be able to die in peace and give up this worthless life of mine.'  
  
// Wake me up, wake me up inside  
I can't wake up, wake me up inside  
Save me, call my name and save me from the dark //  
  
Heero finished inputting all the data into the missile control panel. 'Now for that annoying brat who has compromised my mission.' Heero turned around and cocked his gun at the blonde.  
  
"Say goodbye Relena."  
  
Out of the still darkness, a shot fired and hit Heero in the arm causing him in fall over from the impact. 'An enemy,' Heero thought looking up. His eyes locked onto cobalt orbs, eyes that seemed to look straight through Heero's soul. The kind that you could stare at for hours and still never see the bottom of their depths.  
  
The pain in Heero's arm snapped him out of his trance. 'The mission. I must complete the mission.'   
  
Heero tried to run to the missiles but was hit again by his fey assailant. "Not so fast buddy. Why are you in such a hurry? You are obviously the enemy," a soft baritone said.  
  
Then that foolish girl tried to bind Heero's wounds. The only useful purpose it served was to confuse and delay Duo's next volley when Heero dove for the missiles again.   
  
Heero jumped on the missiles and sent them on their way. As he was thrown from the flight of deadly projectiles, he let his lifeless body fall face first into the ocean. The only thought running through his head was 'Nimnu kanryou. Now I can rest in peace. If only those cobalt eyes had saved me in time, maybe...'  
  
// Wake me up, bid my blood to run  
I can't wake up, before I come undone  
Save me, save me from the nothing I've become //  
  
* * End Flashback * *  
  
The rain was starting to come down harder and a cool breeze ripped through Heero's thin clothing, chilling him to the bone. The darkness seemed to magnify around him, making him feel smaller and weaker. Tears were running freely down his face and blended with the falling rain. Waves crashed and met their ends on the sharp jagged rocks in the distance.  
  
// Now that I know what I'm without,  
you can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life //  
  
For a moment, Heero imagined that he too was crashing onto the rocks and shore. He peered through the railing and watched the waves with envy. Anything to end the pain in his heart, the emptiness inside that was once filled by the loving...no, caring baka.   
  
Duo never loved him.   
  
Heero shook his head. 'No! He's gone now, and I will not allow him to fool around with these...petty emotions. I will not let him break my heart, and I will...I will...endure and...survive.'  
  
* * Begin Flashback * *  
  
Heero slowly opened his eyes, alert and cautious to his surrounding. He was lying on an examination table, bound down with leather buckles. His wounds were left bleeding and untreated, dripping to a puddle of red on the floor. 'I've been captured.' There was a moment of panic before an almost peaceful state enveloped him. 'Maybe I can just lie here. Maybe my captors will have mercy on me and free my soul from this eternal torment. After all, what was the point of living after a failed mission and the destruction of my mobile suit?'  
  
A quick flash of light alerted his attention to a visual council to his right. Brown hair and those cobalt eyes, it was him!   
  
'Maybe those eyes can still save me,' his soul cried. 'Those violet-cobalt orbs could still be my salvation.' With a renowned spirit in his heart, Heero read his new comrade's lips and awaited his chance to escape.  
  
// Wake me up, wake me up inside  
I can't wake up, wake me up inside  
Save me, call my name and save me from the dark //  
  
Now Heero was falling, no, flying through the air. The escape had gone without a hitch and now Heero was free falling to the ground below. His heart had taken over his body again. 'Just let it all end here Heero. The pain, the suffering, just let it all end here.'  
  
"Heeeeeerrrrroooo!!!!!!!!" Then that awful scream. A high pitched shrilling that could wake even the mummified bodies in Egypt.  
  
~ ~ somewhere in the Sahara Desert ~ ~  
  
Quatre, Trowa and his fellow Maguanacs were scrambling around the underground base, holding their ears and frantically searching for earplugs.  
  
~ ~ back in Japan ~ ~  
  
Heero opened his eyes and found himself plummeting downward facedown. With his hearing shot from the screaming, the world seemed to pass him by without a sound. He saw Duo wordlessly shout at him. One single word from somewhere in his mind begins to repeat like a mantra over and over again.  
  
"Live"  
His hands pull the string of his parachute.  
  
"Live"  
Those same hands take off the parachute and send his body into a roll on the ground.  
  
"Live"  
Heero's body stills as he lay on the beach for a moment. Then he slowly gets up to his feet.  
  
"Live..."  
'Live for what?' he wonders, but his mind does not answer him.  
  
// Wake me up, lift my blood to run  
I can't wake up, before I come undone  
Save me, save me from the nothing I've become //  
  
Duo landed next to Heero and started cursing at him for giving him more nightmares but Heero wasn't paying attention. He was still waging the internal battle with himself, trying to find an answer to his question.   
  
Duo took Heero's arm and braced it over his shoulders, jarring Heero out of his internal struggle. All coherent thought seemed to stop as Heero began to drown in Duo's cobalt eyes. He had found his answer.  
  
"Live for him"  
  
'Nimnu ryokai'  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Mission failed...  
The mission had been a complete and utter failure. Noventa and the other Alliance leaders had been slain by his own two hands. One of the last advocators of peace between the colonies and earth...gone.  
  
A mission failed meant death to the perfect soldier.  
  
// Bring me to life  
I've been liven a lie  
There is nothing inside  
Bring me to life //  
  
* * * * * *  
  
I repeat. I surrender, but I will not hand over the Gundams.  
  
Heero accepted his fate. A failed mission meant death. But before Heero could step out of the cockpit, Duo's screaming face appeared on the vid screen. The audio had been shut off but Heero could still read his lips.  
  
'Don't you dare die on me.'  
  
"I'm sorry Duo," Heero said with a sigh before he shut the com off. "I don't deserve to live for you anymore. I'm not...worthy of it."  
  
Heero stepped out of the cockpit and excepted his fate. "Ninmu ryoukai..."  
  
*click*  
  
* * * * * *  
  
*clatter*  
  
Duo's cross clattered on the hard wood floor, startling Duo out of his thoughts. Duo had been absentmindedly twirling the chain in his fingers when the silver cross slipped and fell on the bed room floor where Heero had left him.  
  
In Duo's mind, he slowly watched the silver cross fall in slow motion onto the dirt ground. The grass was scorched by fire and smoke was everywhere. Duo looked up to see the Maxwell Church burning and yellow-orange flames erupting everywhere.  
  
* *Begin Flashback * *  
  
"Duo!" Duo could hear his name being called in the distance, but he was too busy coughing as the heavy smoke filled his lungs and threatened to smother him. He was so scared. All Duo could do was hide in the corner and sob in fear.  
  
"Duo!" The voice was coming closer but Duo would still not respond. He could see the yellow-orange flames eating through the wall. If he didn't get out soon he would be trapped. But Duo stayed where he was, frozen with fear and trying to get the awful burning smoke out of his lungs.  
  
"Duo!" Suddenly, a women in black robes burst through the door. "There you are Duo!"  
  
"Sister Helen," Duo replied with surprise before falling into a coughing fit.  
  
"Come on, we've got to get you out of here." Taking Duo by the hand the good sister hurried the small child out of the orphanage.  
  
The two got as far as the front door when the wooden beam supports began to creak and buckle.  
  
"Run Duo!" Sister Helen shouted as she pushed Duo through the main doorway. Duo went sprawling onto the ground, bloodying both of his knees. He looked behind him in time to see the final beams collapse and fall on the good sister's body.  
  
"Sister Helen!!!"  
  
// Frozen inside without your touch  
without your love, darling //  
  
Duo ran to the sister, tears streaming down his face. "Come on Sister Helen, get up. You're going to be okay."  
  
Sister Helen smiled weakly at the young boy and managed to place a hand on his shoulder. "Be brave...Duo." Her breathing was labored as a cough shook her entire body. "Mind what Father Maxwell and I have taught you. Be brave Duo, be brave..." Her light blue eyes glazed over and closed as her body lay limp on the floor. The one hand on Duo's shoulder also fell limply on the ground beside him. In the open hand of the sister's outstretched arm lay a small silver cross.  
  
"Sister Helen?" Duo asked tentatively. "Sister Helen?" he said a little louder. The good sister gave no reply.  
  
"Noooooooo!!!"  
  
* * End flashback * *  
  
'And it didn't end there either,' Duo though sadly. 'Then there was Solo, the closest thing I ever had to a brother...' Duo felt a new flood of tears, remembering Solo's last words to him.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Live Duo. You must be brave and, move on without me."  
  
"No!" Duo had responded. "I won't leave without you."  
  
Solo gave Duo a small smile. "Live Duo, live." Then he too had passed away.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
'Everyone I have ever loved has died.'  
  
Duo thought back on Solo's words. 'Live. Live for what?'  
'Heero'  
  
// Only you are the life among the dead //  
  
"Of course, Heero! Where is he?!" Duo said wildly looking around. Memories of their fight suddenly came flying back at him. "On no! I've got to find him." Duo quickly ran downstairs and out the door, ignoring the strange looks the other guys were giving him.  
  
'Thank you Sister Helen, Solo. I finally understand.'  
  
* * * * * *  
  
// All of this time  
I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark  
When you were right there in front of me //  
  
"Heero! Where are you!" Duo shouted as he ran through the rain toward the nearby beach.  
  
Heero heard shouting in the distance and slowly opened his eyes. He held his knees closer to his body as chills kept racking his body.  
  
// I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,  
Got to open my eyes to everything //  
  
Duo suddenly came into view but Heero was still hidden in the shadows. 'He came!' Heero thought triumphantly. He tried to call out to him but no sound came out. 'Oh no!' Heero thought with horror. 'I lost my voice.'  
  
Heero tried over and over to shout and was rewarded with a weak and croaky "Duo".  
  
It was enough as cobalt eyes turned to meet Prussian blues.  
  
// Without thought, without a voice, without a soul,  
Don't let me die here  
There must be something more... //  
  
Duo raced toward the shivering finger and gathered Heero in his arms. Embracing him as tightly as life itself and planting sloppy kisses wherever he could find skin.  
  
"Never again Heero, never again."  
  
// Bring Me to Life...//  
  
* * Begin Flashback * *  
  
"How long has he been out Relena?" Duo asked.  
  
"He's been in a coma for almost two weeks now since he 'shot' Mariemaia."  
  
"But he'll make it, won't he 'Lena?" Duo asked.  
  
Relena answered with a comforting nod. "Of course he will. Do you want to be left alone?"  
  
Duo looked at her with gratitude shining in his eyes. "If you don't mind." Relena nodded and showed herself out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.  
  
"Come on Heero buddy, you've got to wake up," Duo said as he took a seat next to Heero's hospital bed. Heero looked so frail in the gigantic bed with needles and other electrical devices hooked up to him.  
  
// Wake me up, wake me up inside,  
I can't wake up, wake me up inside  
Save me, call my name and save me from the dark //  
  
Heero felt himself floating on a cloud in darkness. In the distance he could see a tiny pinprick of light piercing through the darkness that surrounded him. A tiny voice in his head begged him to go to it but Heero would not budge.  
  
'What's the point?' he thought. 'I've accomplished my mission, what else do I have to live for?'  
  
Just let it go  
  
Heero's heart monitor began to slow down and alarms started to go off. Relena and a team of nurse rushed into the room while Duo jumped up from his seat grabbing Heero's hand and holding it tightly in his own. "Fight it Heero! You've got to fight!" he shouted. "You can't die on me, not now!"  
  
Heero distantly heard someone shouting his name. 'Duo? Duo, where are you?!' The voice was coming toward the light. Heero debated with himself for a moment, did he really want to face the agony of the world again. His mission in life was done, did he Heero Yuy have any other purpose?  
  
"Heero!"  
  
'I do!' he suddenly realized. 'I do have a purpose in life, and this Heero Yuy isn't going to go down so easily.'  
  
Just as suddenly as the heart monitor had gone down, it went back to normal. Duo was beginning to doubt his luck when another miracle happened. Heero unconsciously squeezed Duo's hand back and took a sudden intake of air.  
  
Both Relena and Duo were silent as Heero slowly opened his eyes. "Duo?" he said weakly. Duo was immediately by his side, embracing his comrade.  
  
"You had me scared half to death Heero," Duo whispered.  
  
"I'm sorry, please don't leave me Duo."  
  
Duo shushed him and began rocking the silent boy in his arms. "I will never leave you again."  
  
// Wake me up, bid my blood to run,  
Wake me up, before I come undone  
Save me, save me from the nothing I've become //  
  
* * End flashback * *  
  
"Never again Heero," Duo said to the shivering boy in his arms. "I promise, I'll never leave you again. I...love you."  
  
// Bring me to Life  
I've been liven a lie  
But not from that side  
Bring me to Life... //  
  
Heero smiled in Duo's embrace. "Arigato, of course you won't leave me," Heero replied quietly.   
  
"You bring me to life."  
  
~ Owari ~ 


End file.
